Saturday, October 18

the mother judge

"He who answers before listening--that is his folly and his shame." or "Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish."~ Proverbs 18:13

As I read this verse recently, I thought of one my least favorite roles as a mother....JUDGE. How often I am in a situation of having to listen to disputes and then make a decision of who is guilty and who is innocent. Since I know the *players* quite well in the game - who the tattlers are, who the provokers are, who the peace makers are - it's easy for me to draw a conclusion quickly.
But often there is a shout of displeasure of my supposedly unjust decision after the consequences have been given upon making those quick conclusions.

"The first to speak in court sounds right--until the cross examination begins." ~ Proverbs 18:17

So through the years
I have found that I really do need to take the time to hear the whole story. Each person needs to be able to tell their story from their viewpoint without interruption from other people who may be involved in the incident. Often I reach the same conclusion I would reach if I made a quick conclusion. But then there are times when other information comes out upon cross examination which does change my first conclusion. Periodically there is not just one person who is guilty, but through a chain reaction of reactions there may be two, three, or more guilty persons involved! You know, the old "just because she did something wrong doesn't mean you can do something wrong which doesn't mean your brother should interfere and do something wrong" kind of thing.

I wonder if God ever gets tired of my silent whispering to Him, "give me wisdom, give me wisdom, give me wisdom!" as I deal with conflicts with my children.

And yet, by following the implications of the first verse, we can be hopeful that with listening comes wisdom for the mother judge. Yes, wisdom for the imperfect mother as she deals with the imperfect children God has given her.

May I have the same characteristics as my Heavenly Father when taking on my least favorite role as judge. Fair, just, and loving.

Off to settle the latest dispute - Who DID eat the last of the favorite cereal and left the empty box in the pantry? LOL!

Tammy ~@~


The Arthur Clan said...

So many of my children's disputes seem silly to me, but in their mind they are of utmost importance. And I know I need to respect that need that they have and listen closely to what they have to say. The verses you shared are a good reminder to me of how I need to be as a mother. Thank you for that!

Angie in OH

Karen said...

I have had this discussion over the years with my son, but for a different reason. When you have a child who is extremely "social", he often gets a reputation with his teacher. Then, when ANYTHING happens, he is often the first to be blamed. Not only is it a reminder to us that we should always listen, it is a reminder to my son that he needs to pay attention to what kind of reputation he is cultivating.

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