Saturday, October 25

a season of falling leaves

As the fall of 1995 began with the changing of the colors of the leaves all around us, so was there another change occurring quietly behind the scenes of life. Little pieces had been mentioned throughout the summer, but a casual conversation in mid-September stands out in my mind as I drove my mom and my kids to our cabin. A warm autumn day which lent itself to content spirits as we traveled and my mom chatted about various symptoms that appeared to be menopausal from all she had read. Ah, yes, hormones which created chaos with how her mind worked and we giggled about some of those episodes as she easily shared within the warmth of our close adult friendship.

Over the next two weeks my mom’s symptoms clearly began worsening and there seemed to be certain things - such as unsteady balance while walking or being unable to add numbers - that were no longer consistent with menopausal symptoms. It was time to follow up with her doctor.

Having gone through surgery at the end of the previous year for lung cancer, CT scans were required for my mom as her symptoms were discussed. It was a relief to hear that her lungs were clear, however tests showed abnormalities within her brain. Her care was now transferred to a larger medical clinic two hours away where more detailed testing was followed by consultations with neurosurgeons and oncologists as a metastatic brain tumor had been confirmed. A date was set for the surgery which was less than a week away.

As we waited, it was hard not to think of a similar scenario. My only sibling, a younger sister, had been diagnosed with a brain tumor shortly before her fifth birthday. Remembrances passed through my mind of the difficult years following my sister’s surgery while my mom cared for her up until my sister’s health required institutionalized care prior to her death at twelve years old. A real life scenario which no one wanted repeated.

Yet that scenario was viewed through my eyes as a child. This scenario was viewed through my eyes as an adult. An adult who had a faith and trust in Jesus Christ as well as the support and encouragement of a loving, caring, and praying church family.

As the leaves were falling on that early morning travel to the medical center, our hearts were at peace. Once checked in and settled, we were blessed to be visited by the hospital chaplain. This man of God had been our church’s former pastor whose teaching and preaching had blessed me during my years as a new believer. His prayer for us continued the calm that was already present in my heart. We said our good-byes, gave our hugs, and I reminded my closest friend how much I loved her.

Her scheduled 11 AM surgery actually began at 2 PM as other unexpected medical emergencies occurred requiring the use of the operating room. Three hours later we received word that the surgery had been successfully completed and three more hours passed before we were allowed to visit her. Our hearts were filled with praise when she looked up at us with a smile and could answer the questions posed to her.

Every time I look back at that long day, there is only one thing that stands out in my mind. Incredible amazing wonderful calming indescribable PEACE! Never did a worrying fearful negative thought ever pass my mind. It was a time when I felt totally and completely enveloped in God’s love, grace, and mercy. God revealed to me an aspect of His character that has carried me through difficult times in the following years. And with great confidence I can declare the following verses to be true:

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:7(NIV)

“Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.” ~ II Thessalonians 3:16(NIV)

Whether during a season of falling leaves or any other season of life, His peace is available for you!

Tammy ~@~


Anonymous said...

Your post is a good reminder for me during this very long time of waiting for test results. Thank you for sharing this.

The Arthur Clan said...

Tammy ~ this is such a beautifully written post of your love for your mom and your trust in your Lord. Thank you for this precious reminder that with Him was can always have peace.


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