Friday, February 5

missing moments

As I sat down to write this morning, I do what I often do to help me gear up for the day ahead.  I glanced up at my wall calendar to check the date.  

The little red heart drawn next to the number 5 on this month of February immediately caught my eye.  Then it caught my heart.

Plans of what I was going to write about vanished.  Instead I pulled my quotes journal off the top of my desk and paged through looking for one that would be appropriate for the day. It didn't take long to realize I could not use a single word written about mothers because they all made me cry.  

Typically my heart is prepared for various dates that are filled with memories, but not today.  I don't know if it's from an accumulation of recent struggles.  I don't know if it's from an accumulation of messed up hormones.  I don't know if it's from an accumulation of desiring wisdom from the person whom I trusted completely, knew loved me unconditionally, and who for so many years was only a phone call away.  I don't know....

All I do know is that my mom passed away early on this morning five years ago today and I'm missing her like crazy at the moment.

And if your mom is only a phone call away, give her a call today.  For me.

Tammy ~@~


legendswife said...

beautiful post, thank you:) My grandmother always says "give me flowers while I'm alive, for when I'm gone, I won't be able to enjoy the thought".

God bless

mom said...

What a sweet sentiment! And it makes me all sniffly again! I always leave fresh flowers on my mom's gravesite as her love for flowers was definitely passed on to me. One of our favorite activities was walking through the greenhouses in the spring :-)

Tammy ~@~

Angela said...

Praying for you today my friend, I KNOW God sent you to minister to me during my darkest hours of grief. I'm still amazed how I emailed this lady I didn't know, lol, for just some hope that she would write back, never dreaming SHE would! I still look back at the emails you have sent me-I'm amazed how you prayed for me all along the journey and so glad you will be in my life with the journey ahead. Just think, ONE day you, me, my MIL, and your mom will live together FOREVER! What a day it will be! Praying for you today as you remember and grieve.


Kimmie said...

Praying God bring comfort to your heart and floods you with memories of walking through greenhouses.

May God bring you a wise friend, though she will never fill your mom's shoes...perhaps it will blossom into a lovely surprise from God's hand.


ps- got your family letter today, oh how I love your picture. What a beautiful family. Your Knight and you are too young to have such a large family. Such a babe you are.

Mrs. E. said...

Had to share with you that I read today on Facebook from a dear friend I grew up with CA. Her mom who just two weeks ago danced with friends at a 50th wedding anniversary party. . . died this morning at 4:00 am from pneumonia. It's been a reflective day. You just never know. Life is short. . .life is fragile. You know I have a similar relationship with my mom as you did with yours. I can only imagine the missing piece in your life. I will cherish today and the blessing of my mom in my life.

mom said...

{{{{{Angela}}}}} There's no doubt that God led you across my path and it's been a blessing to grow a friendship over the past two years. You continue to be in my prayers knowing that grieving often has no rhyme or reason as I was reminded on this date. Yes, someday there will be great joy again and knowing that gives me peace!

Kimmie, what a sweet thought :-) Also, I'm glad the mail arrived. I don't know about the young part, but I always look at those family pictures and wonder who are ALL those people! LOL!

Heather, I'm sad to hear of your friend's loss. Life is fragile and indeed often too short! And your mom is indeed a treasure! When I see her in the mix with your crew of kids, I often think of my mom because they are much the same in that respect. My mom loved to be with the kids doing things and spending time with them and they loved her back just as much! It does make me sad at times to think of my younger ones who have not had either grandma to love on them....

Tammy ~@~

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